A Year Ago

A year ago I walked away
Far too nervous to look
Your father had tears in his eyes
Two pink lines
I was so nervous
I shook
Cried
I put my hands on you
Asleep inside me
The nightmare came too soon
Always weak
Always ill
My heart knew something was wrong
“Tell him not to leave us.”
Your father would put his lips against you
As close as he could
“We love you. You stay in there”
Always weak
Always ill

We came that day to see you grow
Instead
Cold office
Cold reality
“We’re so sorry”

A year ago I walked away
Far too wretched to believe
Your father had tears in his eyes
Two grieving parents
I was so broken
I shook
Screamed
I put my hands on you
Dead inside me
The nightmare wouldn’t end
Always weak
Always ill
Weeks dragged by relentlessly
“Why did God do this?”
Your father put his lips against my forehead
As close as he could
“I love you. We will be okay.”
Always weak
Always ill

Has it really been one year…
Surreal
Still loved
Still missed
“Goodnight my Angel”

© Rachel Svendsen 2014

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6 thoughts on “A Year Ago”

  1. Avery beautiful writing. I was deeply touched and moved by this. The way you express your feelings and emotions in words is beautiful.

    Like

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