Spammed A Lot

What i don’t understood is in truth how you are no longer actually a lot more neatly-appreciated than you may be now.

You’re very intelligent. You realize therefore considerably

in the case of this matter, made me individually consider it from a
lot of varied angles. Its like men and women aren’t fascinated except it is something to do with Girl gaga!
Your own stuffs great. At all times deal with it up!”

I nodded my head a few times while I absorbed the sageness of this advice, before deleting it like the spam it was.

spam

Everyone gets spam. Maybe that’s too broad a statement, but if I’ve missed the mark it’s only by the slimmest of centifractions. Personally, I get tons. Not just through email, but through all the social media I’m on. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and here on my blog. Most of the time it’s just an irritant, like a stink bug, vvvvppp-vvvppping around in my space. On Twitter, those stink bugs sometimes take the form of DM’s. Now there’s the usual ones. They appear to be automatically sent by apps and usually say something like:

So great to connect with you. Buy my stuff [LINK] – this spam is automatic by @paytoannoypeopleandbeimmediatelyunfollowed

But every now and then I’ll follow an author and get a DM like this.

Them: Hi! Great to connect with a fellow writer.

Now, I’m all for connecting with other writers, especially the friendly ones. So I’ll smile and shoot back and answer.

Me: Likewise! Look forward to tweeting with you.

Them: What are you working on?

Me: I’m working on [insert stuff here]. How about you?

Them: I’ve published three books on amazon! Do you like MG yeti-horror-romance novels.

Me: That’s not really my preferred genere.

Them: Well “Henrietta finds Heat in the Himalayas” is currently only 99 cents on Amazon [Insert link here] You should go buy it now!

*sighs and shakes head* I totally get that you have to market stuff on your own, but for a second there, I totally thought you cared about me and not just the contents of my wallet. That’s the essence of spam I guess. Buy our stuff. This is also the definition of advertising. I guess what makes spam different is that they’re slapsticking you all over with pies in the face and far too many banana peels to avoid slipping.

But every now and then I will find something the equivalent of spam gold, which is more like a nice piece of dollar store costume jewelry. There’s something about it, that almost makes it worth the time I accidentally spent on it. Here’s one I got here on WordPress:

Howdy, i read your blog from time to time and

i own a similar one and i was just curious if you

get a lot of spam remarks? If so how do you prevent it,

any plugin or anything you can suggest? I get so

much lately it’s driving me crazy so any support is very much appreciated.”

Innocuous you say? What if I told you that the commenter’s name and website address both began with xxxpornxxx. It was like an irony and sadness milkshake.

© Rachel Svendsen 2016

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4 thoughts on “Spammed A Lot”

  1. When you said everyone gets spam. I was confused and thought you meant the food because of the picture you posted. I haven’t gotten spam on twitter yet. I don’t understand how people can come out and say buy my book. Don’t they realize it turns people off?

    Liked by 1 person

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